Now I’ll try to picture you this and set the scene, but it was 4 score and 7 when we were just 16… the meatheads you feared have brought the keg and end up being the nicest people of the night. Your friends already ordered pizza and have been super glued in da couch while you have the epiphany that you shouldn't be smoking for the 10th time…even though the Home Depot bucket gravity bong looks mighty enticing.
Everyone’s here at the shindigs we’ve been having because everyone else’s parents simply would not allow this. The guy that everyone gets their fakes from can’t walk because he does too many whippets…now he’s in prison, but we don’t talk about that.
Your future drummer hits his head on the light switch getting up and punches the wall. You ask him for 50 dollars in which he immediately pays. Your future bass player playing the worst version of broken acoustic sweet home Alabama and tells you about communism…ahh yes, prophetic.
A group just comes in you should probably talk to. Are they using you? Are they enjoying themselves? It’s probably symbiotic, and we’re all having fun.The football player that you try to dap up but you accidentally touch his butt still has a good time.
Connor makes a lasagna in the sink. Some friends are really good at that and stay good at that. Some like to paint the floor or the couch a new Picasso…don’t want to be an asshole but you’ll have to pay for that too….
The neighbor’s dog is here and finds a snack in the morning while Daft Punk and LCD Soundsystem are still coming out of the stereo on low. We say we are not doing this again, but we are definitely doing this for as long as we physically can.
While Gerald the Friendly Orangutang may not physically exist, he’s the party animal that lives inside us all that wants to cut the bullshit, get sweaty, and dance!
If you're brave enough, check out what went down at Ringo Mom's House circa 2016.